I’m a wife and a mom.
sometimes I catch myself saying that I’m a young mom and wife.
I’ll be 33 this year and have been married 8 years as of today.
but, my kids are young- 5, almost 4 and 8 weeks.
it’s all relative, I suppose.

I think I’m young because it often feels like being a wife and mom is new to me.
I still haven’t got the hang of either role yet.
there is always a curveball that I’ve never seen thrown.
or an obstacle that I’ve never approached.
each day I realize that I am certainly no pro and that I basically know nothing about how to live with a man or how to parent children.
that’s why I say I’m young
if being a youth=being a novice
but it doesn’t, since you can begin something new at any age.
ok…all that to say, I’m not as young as I think I am in relation to some of the other women who have newborns.

either way, young or not-so-young, there is a lot to learn about being a mom and a wife.
and there are a LOT of sources from which to gain that knowledge.
bazillions of books, blogs, speakers, Instagram advice givers, older moms, sisters, friends, and those lovely random people that offer advice unsolicited.
the challenge is determining which source is credible and which one to trust.

it depends on your goal.
are you seeking to serve others?
or seeking to serve self?

if you’ve ever been in a church setting, then you’re most likely familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman.
“Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her
Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:28 & 29, NIV)

The chapter gives us a list of things she does in order to gain her husbands praise and the blessings and respect of her children.
let’s take a look at a few of those things, because I think being praised and respected by my family is what I want too!
that seems like a goal I can get along with.

her husband trusts her
she isn’t spiteful towards him, and does not bring him harm
she is eager to work and doesn’t waste daylight being idle
she is a provider for her family day and night
she is resourceful
she senses the worth of her work
she is benevolent
she is confident in her preparation and care of her family
she speaks kindly and with intent
she fears the Lord

easy, huh?
right.

What I do know is that I can trust the word of God.
the only words that I KNOW are true.
one thing that I love about the Bible is that there are lots of places to find “if you want this, then do this.”
you can find your goal and then follow the steps to reach that goal.
i.e., my favorite verse. Phillipians 4:6 & 7
verse 7 says that the peace of God which passes human understanding will guard you hearts.
how do we get that peace?
oh! look at the preceding verse.
verse 6. Don’t be anxious, but pray, with thanksgiving.
cool, huh?

So, if you want to have the praise, blessing and respect of your family.
Then take a look at the preceding verses and attributes of the wife of noble character.
and take a shot at those.

seems simple.
maybe it is.
I’m sure that we overcomplicate it.
that’s why we have to be reminded often.
and fill our minds with these words of truth and not lean so heavily on the words of sources we don’t know to be true.
sources that tell us to take time for ourselves or throw a pity party or play the mom-martyr in order to get what you want.
those suggestions teach us to serve self first, which is totally contradictory to what the Bible teaches.

The woman in Proverbs senses the worth of her work and is not ready to quit!
the reward in caring for others is worth the work and she finds joy in service.
Isn’t that the true irony in the message of Jesus?

This is the kind of work I have seen from my mom, my aunts, my grandmothers, my mother-in-law.
I can’t remember ever hearing any of them declaring a need for some “me time” away from us in order to be happy.
Perhaps they did devote some time away just for them, but there was no declaration of intent to focus on themselves.
what i do remember is them putting their family before themselves
working hard and waking up before us to make sure our home was in order for the day.
never tiring, but always assuring that we were well taken care of, well loved and in a clean, functioning home.

I understand the importance of caring for yourself
and establishing some self-worth
many believe that this needs to be established outside of the duties of wife, mother and home-maker
so, “me time” is necessary in order to maintain who you are and your own idea of self-worth

I do not want my children and my husband to walk on egg-shells around me because i am in dire need of some time to myself, away from them.
to re-charge when i’m away from my home.
our home should be the central re-charging station…for every single one of us.

It just got me thinking about how we romanticize and place so much value on taking extra or special time to ourselves, when as mothers, that is the complete opposite of what our role entails and requires.

And there is worth, praise and joy to be found as a mom, as a wife and as a woman….
in doing what God created us to do!